Writing Again. I started blogging back in 2008. I don’t really want to remind you of my first blog name. It’s, well, embarrassing. My second blog was breeloverly. Like, “Wouldn’t it Bree (be) Loverly.” The song? Okay, I thought it was catchy. This blog is where I really found my voice, and where I found so much healing. I wrote about the highs and lows in motherhood as well as the journey of our son, Zeke’s sickness and then diagnosis of Batten Disease, to then his going Home to heave and all that came with it.
So many of you followed along and encouraged us, prayed for us and even so many financially supporting us to celebrate Zekey big on the Zekey trip out West. What a gift.
So much has changed since then. “Instagram ate my blog” as they say. I started only half writing and writing became scrolling and scrolling became comparing and I started believing that I wasn’t really needed anymore. My words didn’t matter because other woman were doing a fantastic job and I could just shrink back and everything would be just fine. So I did.
What did I find? It took many years of writing from me, and writing is healing and healing is healthy and needed. I sit here and it seems I’ve been given a secret key to going back in time, when it was just you and me, blog and anyone who joined was welcome but if they didn’t, that was okay too. And the messages of encouragement fueled the fire to keep sharing and speaking and saying ‘yes’ to opportunities to speak and share and encourage and speak Truth. God was speaking to me to keep going through so many of you who were blessed, encouraged, challenged, enlightened through my writing. I would be amazed and say, “God, I’m so sorry I doubted. I’ll keep going.”
So here I am, writing and saying out loud, I miss it. You’re like an old friend, blog. I imagine boot cut jeans, daisy top, room full of pics of friends, magazine cut-outs, brown paneled walls, on my bed, neon green and blue and yellow accents, best friend necklaces hanging on a peg in my wall….without the weight of the world, or at least the weight of our story, the hard parts.
I didn’t know I was a writer back then, I just knew every time I tried to turn in a paper, I received it with red pen all over it. I didn’t see how God would give opportunities to speak and share more of the Truth of who God is in the midst of suffering, or speak Truth over lies to mamas who feel hopeless, or I’d be the one to give encouragement to the woman who is struggling to make Jesus a priority, and even sometimes, encourage women to pray who have never prayed before.
I didn’t know what discipleship meant but I do now more than ever!, I’m learning it’s simple and it’s guiding and walking alongside. It takes commitment and willingness, prayer and to be courageous and even willing to challenge. It’s simple and it’s a joy to be a disciple of Jesus but it comes with a cost we must be willing to make.
That girl didn’t think she would understand the Bible deeper than just the basics and even be able to lead Bible studies and show others how to read it. Wow, I have learned so much and I’m loving every opportunity to take a magnifying glass to Scripture, or sometimes a birds-eye view to get a better understanding. I see eyes get big and hear, “wow! I didn’t see that before!” and because I know the feeling, and I want to feel that for the rest of my life, I cannot help but smile, I love to see others experience it too!
I have so much more to learn and grow in knowledge and Truth but now I do it knowing God is faithful when we meet Him faithfully in His Word, through prayer, confession, forgiveness, obedience, etc.
I’m on a journey of following Jesus and this has meant that I have learned to hear my Shepard’s voice clearer. I can better declare Truth over the lies the enemy is feeding me, and sometimes ask for a friend to remind me when I’m feeling extra vulnerable.
I’m learning to lead without doubt, and lead scared. I’m learning to say things that no one else is willing to say in order to put some Truth challenges out there where the waters get mirky. I’m learning it’s really good to not just go with the flow of everyone around me.
I’m on a journey, just like all of us, and it’s so beautiful with my Savior holding my hand, leading and guiding me, pointing the way, with a smile on His face- one that is becoming more and more familiar and easier to picture. I’m learning that Heaven is closer than it seems but it’s still so easy to miss when our eyes are on ourselves, our failures, our mistakes, our suffering and not on the very One who can make it all good and right, in time. Redemption.
Last year, God gave me a vision and it involves more writing. I have been putting it off for many reasons, most of which are built on lies from the enemy. God exposed those lies quickly and has been so kind to give vision to, showing me what’s *really true.
I may seem brave to many, but I do plenty of things scared, only moving forward because I want to be obedient to God and I know He will show up.
I love knowing that Jesus had to break away from the crowds, the ones fighting for his attention, to get that uninterrupted time with His Father. Then came back, ready to keep doing His Father’s will.
I’m taking a break from socials to be more present in writing because I know God’s calling me to just for a season. And to lead in the local church because it’s good and right and my heart is for it. I’ll miss the gram, it won’t be easy, but I’m very very excited and anticipating coming back to Insta and Facebook with more direction.
So, with all of that, I hope you’ll stay and find me in your inbox (email) when I post, and I hope you’ll laugh with me, cry with me and we could pray for each other if you ever want to comment and share your heart. I LOVE to talk to people and hear their hearts, yours included!
Mama’s, you may find a questionnaire opportunity to share with me for something I’m working on 😉
So, join me! Truly, it would be a gift to have you! Subscribe below, or under my “About Me” picture on the right. It will give you access to my posts without skipping a beat!
With love, and I”ll see ya soon (on those socials- for this isn’t goodbye, but I’ll see ya soon!)